6 Reasons You Fall In Love With Someone

1. You Love The Way They Smell

When you’ve been dating or in a relationship with someone for a long time, you come to know what they smell like. You know what kinds of colognes they like, what type of shower gel they use, you don’t even mind it when they’re a little bit…funky. That’s because you can look past all the bad traits and you constantly see the good stuff. You walk into your apartment when they’re gone but you smell them and you know that they were just there before you. Smells linger — on dirty laundry, on pillows you’ve laid on. Scents by themselves don’t necessarily make us fall in love with someone, but they trigger our emotions. That’s because scents are the ghosts leftover when our loves go away.

2. You Love The Way They Make You Nervous

When our loves make us nervous, it’s because we feel attached to them. Not needy, but attached. They give us that warm, fuzzy feeling, the feeling you only get when there’s an emotional attachment to that person. You’re nervous because you care. You’re nervous because you want them to love you back. Love makes us all fragile and vulnerable, and nervousness is the way our bodies let us know that we’re in that state.

3. You Love Their Laugh

We know that laughter should play a key role in any meaningful relationship, but have you ever thought about how you start to laugh like the people you are in relationships with? You love their laugh so much that it has taken over your own style of laughter. But that’s only natural. When you’re so intimate and connected to someone, clearly you borrow their speech patterns and body language. Consider it a form of flattery.

4. You Know Them Better Than They Know Themselves

Everybody has style, even the people who think they don’t care about fashion. Style is the wrapping that makes us want to discover what’s underneath, but like smell it is also a kind of ghost. You can be out shopping and see a shirt or a pair of underwear that you know your significant other will love. You instantly have a flash of them, smile all to yourself, and buy it for them because you know them better than they know themselves.

5. They make You Feel Safe

When you date someone, they should make themselves available. They have to make you feel like they care, and the best way to do that is to make you feel safe. You feel safe in their arms at night. You feel safe sitting with them at dinner at your favorite restaurant. You feel safe when they take care of you when you’re sick.

6. You Can’t Imagine Living Without Them

There are a lot of reasons people get into or out of relationships. No relationship is ever picture perfect — they all have problems. But at the end of the day, no matter what other ridiculousness is going on, ask yourself: can you imagine living without this person? If you stopped talking to this person right now, forever, would you care? If the answer is a big fat no, for the love of God end it now. But if the answer is yes, no matter what problems you have, it’s worth trying to work it out.

Do not fall in love
With people like me.
people like me
will love you so hard
that you turn into stone
into a statue where people
come to marvel at how long
it must have taken to carve
that faraway look into your eyes

Do not fall in love with people like me
we will take you to
museums and parks
and monuments
and kiss you in every beautiful
place so that you can
never go back to them
without tasting us
like blood in your mouth

Do not come any closer.
people like me
are bombs
when our time is up
we will splatter loss
all over your walls
in angry colors
that make you wish
your doorway never
learned our name

do not fall in love
with people like me.
with the lonely ones
we will forget our own names
if it means learning yours
we will make you think
hurricanes are gentle
that pain is a gift
you will get lost
in the desperation
in the longing for something
that is always reaching
but never able to hold

do not fall in love
with people like me.
we will destroy your
apartment
we will throw apologies at you
that shatter on the floor
and cut your feet

we will never learn
how to be soft

we will leave.
we always do.